sweetheart , Im not sure what age you are yet.. but dont just marry someone for the kids. you want romance-find it. & I need to say, sometimes when we are not looking for it..it will find us.. Please dont just  marry to have the kids..even  the oens w. $$ -- it isnt everything.I am living proof. if your looking  for the man to sweep you off  your feet..he is there.. he is thinking of you this very minute too. Dont give up & DONT SETTLE.Please dont dont do that . 6 yrs even for me, is way to long to have a provider & nothing else in him.  I wa spromised romance, and got nothing.as i said, Im in it now for my baby - till i get the nerve to  leave him.

 yes pretty scary w. the  udate site.. .

 do you attend church ? or even there are christian sites for dating too-have you tried them ??happiness always .

[dissapointedwife]

hi..ive never read your diary.. randum peek thru home page , as I logged out tonight ..

I need to say.I met husband thru  dating on line.( udate.com)..dont even know if it exists anymore..   be careful sweetie. I ws 33, he was 35 when we married after only 1 yr of knowing each other... but its not what it seems allot w. those things..

 I do think , and love the commercials for  eharmony.. they do background chks,and  I love the facts  ( even though Im married I never had to go on there since..lol), but I like to see ( for people who are using the site ) they  do 'decline people..

so.ONLY cuz your saying' when do men grow up'.. maybe  eharmony will be for you.. ill get around to peeking at your diary one day .. till then, just be careful,I for one who is proof , that men lie on their profiles with those things!!  ..now we have a baby , and Im stuck for the moment. Its not an easy road.. ..and I hate to say this, but esp since you dont know anything about these guys pasts.. test out the stuff 1st ;).  if I only  knew  back then.. .

have a great wknd.

~me

[dissapointedwife]

hey ..

I dont know who you are or what yuo are about. but i can definantly Identify w/ you on alot of what u are saying..I am seriously going thru alot of sh*t myself..its not fun. I hate that you think people (ur dates) think that about you. I think there could be a great guy out there for you, ur just prolly looking in all of the wrong places.

SimplyMAYA

Wellllllllllllll..... welcome back Pixel!  Glad to see you are still around. 

Don't worry about being on a soapbox...that is the beauty of MDD.  Stand proud on that soapbox and go for it.

I also hope it doesn't take a year for your next post.

Hugs,

Z

[DrZ]

hi, i read that u went to ireland; i'm spending a few weeks there and wondered if there was anything you recomend doing here.

Thanx,

-Queenfraag

Good morning my dear.

Often....what seems like being hard on ourselves is more the realization that we have permitted others to take advantage of us.... and it tends to piss us off.  Please note the key word in that statement.... PERMITTED.  When we retake the control of our lives.... we no longer permit others to use us..... mentally, physically, sexually, or in any other manner you can visualize.  We need to go through a self examination occasionally.... not only physically but emotionally.  If we are permitting others to use us... even to use us as a crutch.... we often come out on the short end of that deal. 

Being positive is a good start.  Learning to like yourself again is the first step to learning to love yourself.  When you love yourself.... that state of mind.... that inner love.... is like a beacon others can see and desire to be close to that healthy, emotional environment.

Hugs..... and you are on the correct path.

Z

[DrZ]

Dear lady....

I know this is not what you want to hear...but perhaps you are looking too hard.  Often, we try so hard to accomplish something or meet someone that we overlook the obvious.  I have always believed that people and things show up when you are not looking for them.... and usually at the least expected times. 

Be yourself.... allow some light to pass though the facade you have built around you to protect your heart.... and the one you are looking for will show up in your life.

Hugs,

Z

[DrZ]

Wow....you really are in the dumps. Having read your last few entries I can see why you're pissed off and out of sorts. Your brother and those staff people you work with could use a karmic headslap.

Believe me...I've been there, as you well know. I hope things get better soon.

I think mother's purpose once their children reach adulthood is to lay on guilt trips.  Why? Who knows?

Yes...I promise I will hit the gym today! LOL

that is why any business with family is always a heartache. I never known an efficient running family, unless they happen to be very loving kind, the ones that annoy the f*** out of me and probably others. Its always subjective with family. But thats the cons with relying on them, sure there are the pros, but cons come to mind. 

its strange that family would treat family, that way, but strangers who we get along with such treatment. Sounds to me your brothers gonna learn in a hard way. What happens when gf just leaves, is he gonna crawl to his family? Oh well, guess thats the way we males are sometimes.

Moving sucks I know, I have done it quite often, also moving in a rush is a difficult task for any one person to handle.  I will just say that there is no need to rush out and buy a house that fast.  It's hard enough to find a place to rent let alone a place to buy. It is however a lot easier to rent. The best thing to do is to try and find someplace to rent, maybe a cheap apartment or something.  That in turn will break you away from your brothers strict time schedule, also giving you much more time to actually sit down and work on buying house if you feel that you must.  I hope everything does work out for you.  I hate to see people especially family fighting. 

wack is job at it again
check it here

What do you love about yourself?

hiya,

hope your havin a good time in westport,its a lovely place, i was there a few times,the jumper u got probley was irish sheep!!im from dublin, are u visiting here anytime?well its brillant, the atomoshere is amazing,theres loads to do, like go to the guiness storehouse!!!enjoy your stay and make sure you have a bit of craic!!!

love aisling aka irishgirl101

Thanks for your note.....You're right. Colleen is missing out on a great thing. Too bad the guys in your wheelhouse aren't more like me?!

Thanks too for the great advice!

I'm so sorry. But, you did do the right thing, even though it hurts to tell yourself that.

Two years ago, both of my dad's dogs had to be put down within a few months of each other because of fast-spreading cancer in each of them. I came close to having to put Junior down 4 years ago because of his UTI infection.

Wait a little while, allow yourself to grieve, and when you are ready look into adopting another kitty. It won't take it's place, but it'll make you feel better.

Take Care.

Dear lady...

As a person with cancer....or with cancer in recession.... thank you.  We had a cat who also had cancer and when she got to the point where she didn't have the energy to get up and eat, we let her go.  Sometimes the kindest thing you can do...is to let go.

Hugs,

Z

Crying doesn't make you a baby-we all deal with tough stuff. hang in there. Like you, people come to me for advice and stuff. I'm great with dealing with their self-esteem and confidence. But none of it seems to apply to me. Go figure.

Thanks for your great comment today! I mean, I bust my ass and expend so much energy for these folks and some of them could care less. One gal, in particular, is fairly high-functioning. But she is so persnickety as to what she'll do that she misses out on jobs she could do. She doesn't understand that this is a two-way street; the effort needs to come from her too. And, if a bus stop is more than three blocks from where she might consider working: forget it. It's over. Have fun not working!

That's what I deal with sometimes. One guy who doesn't get that you need good hygiene before I take him to job develop. One guy won't cut off his beard.

I try not to take it personally; because my co-workers deal with the same stuff too. I wish I could have my cable back, and not have co-pay with my health insurance, and live either in a group home for REALLY cheap rent (or alone with reduced rent!) And qualify for all sorts of expensive programs and not have to pay for them. Wouldn't that be loverly? lol

Morning,

After reading your post, I called a friend of mine who is a plastic surgeon near here.  I asked him about your sensitivity concern.  He said that rarely occurs because they do not completely remove the nipple nor the connecting tissue behind it.  Taking your down to a C or a D will require a minimum 1 lb or more tissue to be removed.  He uses what he calls a pizza cut.  The bottom section is removed and the sides are brought back together.  They use facial sutures so the scarring is minimized.  He recommends using pure vitamin E oil (not cream and with no fragrance) to minimize the hardening of the minor scars.  Because of the tissue that is being removed, they use a heat scalpel which cauterizes the cut so bleeding is minimized.    When they do this.... he tells me.... your boobs will be closer to perfect than what is norm because they are basically shaped to be perfect.  I watched a show when I was in Canada one year and it was about an Olympic athlete who, after two children, went from a 34C to a 44DD.  She was complaining about all the same symptoms.  The surgery was done.... and after a proper healing period....she was back in the swing of things and back running again.  She said it was the best thing she had ever done for herself.  She looked great afterwards. 

As far as chivalry.... it is not dead but is beaten up pretty badly.  Now I believe I have said before that I am old.  Actually, quite old....lol.  I am nearing 60 and I was taught chivalry from the first day I could understand what the devil it was.  By the time I was dating age, if you didn't open the door for a lady.... help her in/out of the car.... hold her chair for her...so on and so on..... your dates never went past the first one.  Plus the word got around....so you could spend some very lonely evenings.  Sometime in the 60s and 70s...when women's liberation got into full swing.... poor guys like myself caught hell for holding the door open for a lady.  You would hear....."Do I look like I need your help?"  We learned to back off somewhat as opposed to getting embarrassed in front of whomever was around at the time.  In the late 90s....chivalry came back somewhat.  We are again permitted to open doors for a lady but something has changed.  I have noticed the young guys have no issue with saying f*ck this and that in front of women.  I guess what I am trying to say....is you can blame the women of the 60s and 70s for forcing women to open their own doors and such.  As males....well we are pretty foolish....we do whatever we can just to keep from getting yelled at.  Our little egos can't handle it.

Good luck on your surgery!

Z

[DrZ]

Dear Lady,

Often as young people, we make decisions we regret for the rest of our lives.  We can never undo these decisions....we must simply live with them.  There are still men out there who wish the same things you do in life but you have yet to meet him/them.  Don't let your past eat at you because you might just overlook someone who will be your perfect counterpart.  You must look to the future and let the past go away as a poor decision of youth. 

If you ask any married woman.... you will discover that she nurtures her husband.  We,as males, are narrow minded individuals.... more like children than adults at times.  Yes, we can make decisions and we can be good parents but we are still very childlike in many things we do. 

I hope you find that special someone who fulfills your desires and I know you will be a wonderful mother when the time comes.

Hugs,

Z

[DrZ]

You are right....women should be able to do what they want with their bodies.  I'm only 12 years old but we have talked some about abortion at my school.  You were only 26, you were yound you didn't know any better but than to get an abortion. 

Jessica

[chickiepie12]

Morning....

Another day older eh?  I remember when I thought I would be devastated as I hit 30....then 40.....then 50....and now as I approach 60, I find it isn't so bad.  As we age, we can't do the things we used to do but we find we have other aspects of life we can offer.  Find what you can offer to the world at your current age....and enjoy the life you have.

Guy search .... hmmmmmmm...that is a tough one.  I have always believed that when you are not searching...is when you will find the person for you.  Worked that way for me.  I had given up on the dating scene and resolved that I would be alone.  That is when I met the woman who has been my wife now for uhhhhhh...about 25 years.  Your person will come.

Plastic surgery.... never had it done...but have had some lady friends who either had their boobs made larger and others who have had them made smaller.  This is a very personal issue and something you have to determine what is the best for you.  Only do whatever if it is what you want to do.  As a man... we don't look at a woman and think....damn...those boobs are huge...or those boobs are small... we honestly look at a woman....and say.... BOOBS!!! I know....typical male... but it is the truth.  As males, we blame our mothers for loaning them to us for a few months or so and then putting them away....and we spend the rest of our lives chasing women to get our toys back again.

 Dear lady.... if the man means something to you.... tell him.  Never pass the change to say something to someone who means something to you.  Even if he doesn't feel the same.... you have made his day brighter and in reciprocity.... your day will be brighter as well.  As far as mom?  Parents always have expectations of people and especially of and for their children.  The thing is.... you must live your life the best you can... and making decisions for you.  Mom, while she might disapprove, will understand if you ask her if her mother....your grandmother ... approved of all her decisions.  If your Mom is honest.... she will tell you no...she didn't.

As a people....we all like to wallow in sadness occasionally.  It makes us feel so much better when we get on our feet again and feel better.  It has nothing to do with being an idiot...it has to do with being human.

And....finally.... Happy Birthday when it arrives.

Z

[DrZ]

Sorry that dude let you down; that's unfair.....he gives good guys like me a crappy name.

Haven't seen you in a while. Hope you're doing well otherwise.

hey. hows it going? Merry Christmas and a Happy new year! i missed you. Are u ok? i miss your nice comments.  well, i lost my job.  you can read all about on my diary. well take care of yourself. love sheila

hey girl. cheer up. i been there and it wasn't pretty. Teach them how life is not a bunch of chocolates that their going to recieve everytime they act up and try to look cool. i'm sorry i'm not the teacher. If i was, i would try to teach them not to be such a bully to others and try to act like they want to learn in class for a change. Glad to know your doing ok. sheila

hey girl. hey don't think that way. you are beautiful inside and out. you will find that special someone. i used to think that way until i reliazed there will always be that special someone for everyone. just don't give up hope. well, i am doing better. i have the almost perfect guy in my life. ttul. sheila